What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Make Nazis afraid again!

How did you become popular in school?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why didn't my ex fight for our relationship? He gave up so easily.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why is it so hard to date nowadays?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Who writes and reads novels nowadays?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

TEXT:

What is the most overrated pleasure? Why?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

One day, I happened to walk past where my crush was with friends. Then all of a sudden they start laughing, and someone maybe him, goes "freaking (my name) with her freaking hair!" Can anyone offer insights into this? We're in middle school.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Have you ever witnessed political correctness harm someone?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How has your life changed since starting college?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Do you think some men have sex with prostitutes because they're too afraid to talk to women? Money does the talking for them.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?